Heart- Broken

            

          I am heart-broken. I try so hard to be brave. But inside I am fragile. I am shattered. My heart is like a mirror, obliterated into a thousand tiny pieces. I don't know what to do with them. I can't possibly put them all back together and to do so would mean chancing the mirror breaking again. so what have I done? I've put them in a bag and hidden them far away from the rest of me. I thought if I did that I'd be safer- fewer broken hearts, fewer messes to clean up. This bag has been hidden for a few years now. The safety I'd mistakenly thought I'd had from my broken heart was all a fancy lie I conjured up to help me keep my calm. In reality, this has done nothing to prevent future broken hearts. My heart still gets broken, and I wonder, how can this be happening? I hid my heart. I locked it up inside iron-clad walls. Only happiness can find its way in, but not pain, or sorrow, or anguish-none of the messy emotions. Those are supposed to be kept out. Free from the frailty of my heart. The walls didn't work.

           I am sitting on my bed weeping. Weeping for the family and friends of this nation's brave men and women who have so valiantly fought for our very freedom and paid the ultimate price with their lives. I am weeping for them because even in death they have no peace. People come and picket their funerals saying the most horrendous things. My heart is breaking just imagining the pain these families are going through- I can't imagine how much more broken my heart would actually be if it were me in these circumstances. 

           I am weeping for the children all over this world who have never truly and deeply known a mother or father's love. They are just pushed aside like garbage and I want nothing more than to scoop them all up in my arms and love them from here to eternity. The injustice of this world overwhelms me.

           I am weeping for the broken and hurt. The dazed and confused. Men, women, children. I am weeping for them all. And in the midst of it all I feel so helpless. I want to do something and do it now! I want to save someone from pain. I want to give a child love. I want to picket back at these Westboro Baptist Church goers and have my sign say God loves you! Thank you for protecting this nation's freedom! Thank you for your bravery! I support you! Hate filled messages are not the answer to any problems. They just cause more problems. I want to wrap this whole world in bubble-wrap filled with love. That is my heart's biggest desire. I want to do something big to stop all this hate. But I'm not sure what that is. What is something feasible for me to do but yet its also big? I'm gonna have to think about that.
         A couple days ago I read about a college who, when they heard that the WBC was coming to picket a nearby furneral of a soldier, they formed a wall of people around the cemetery to protect the family and friends at the service. This is what I want to do. I want to find ways where I can make an impact with my community and those around me. Big or small. There are things all around me I can do. I can find a funeral or church where the WBC is protesting and I can form a mini wall. Or I can volunteer somewhere and share God's love there, or I can befriend someone who has no friends. The list is endless. And for me, it starts today. I am challenging myself to life with love. I want to be like a sponge- soaking up love and then wringing it out all over the place. This is my own challenge for myself, but I encourage you to make it yours as well. It's amazing what we can do when we all come together in unity.

         So as I end this blog, I do so knowing that I can walk away with my spirits lifted just a little bit. Yes my heart still very much hurts for all the brokenness and pain in this world. And yes, my heart is still shattered in a million pieces. But right now I am choosing to rejoice because I have hope! I feel like I'm at the start of something that has massive potential. Something that could reach millions of miles away. God's love has that power. 

         I want to have everything I say and do be a reflection of Christ. And what better way to start then to love like He loves. Completely and passionately. As it says in 1 Corinthians 13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

                               

                                'People all over the world
                                           Join hands
                               Start a love train, love train'

I hope you join me in starting a love train all over the world :)                      

#Love like Jesus

~Devin